Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Running On Empty

I need to apologize in advance, I am truly running on no power today.  In fact, this post is brought to you by my cup of coffee, rather than by me.

For some odd reason, unknown even to me, I have been having a very hard time sleeping the last few days.  Okay, truth be told... I always have a hard time sleeping, but the last 2 nights have been truly miserable.

2-3 hours of sleep is no where enough to get me through a full day of work, and full time Mommy time after work.  I feel super drained.

Let's rewind for a minute, and I can explain to you all what happened that I think may be playing a little part in my sleep problems.

Almost 12 years ago now, I lost a man very near and dear to my heart.  I loved my Grandpa P. so much.  We had a special relationship, and evil cancer took him from us.

I have always kept Grandpa in my heart and in my thoughts.  He has a special place that no one can take away from him.  He was fun, happy all the time, loved root beer floats and one of my few heroes.

A few days back, I was browsing FB, and out of nowhere, I see my Grandpa's face.  A picture of him that someone had tagged my sister in.  I lost it.  The tears came, and I had no control over my emotions at that point.

Grandpa P.
My Grandpa was a true man.  Family came first to him... always.  He worked even after retirement to make sure that family never went without.  He was always smiling, as you can see in this picture, and mind you, he was very sick here.

I know my Grandpa is with me every minute of every day.  I love knowing that I have a very special guardian angel watching out for me, and I couldn't pick a better one.

Ever since his face showed up on my FB, I cannot sleep.  My mind races a million miles a minute.  I think about life and how we need to make the most of everyday we have with the people we have and love.  I think about the things that I am doing to make the best life possible for my Monkeys and I.  I think about my past, all the good memories I have shared with family and friends.  And behind all these thoughts, I know that Grandpa P. is there.

Don't get me wrong, these are thoughts that I have on a regular basis, but not to this extreme.

Grandpa, I love you and miss you every single day.  Stay with me, but please... let me sleep too.  Hugs and kisses always.

Tonight, we try Melatonin.  Wish me luck.

Tomorrow's post will not be such a sad one, so make sure to come back.

Happy Tuesday, now go out there and make the most of it, you Monkey Manics, you.


  1. Wonderfully heartfelt and honest...having a tight and loyal family base is what everyone wishes for I'm sure. And luckily I am fortunate enough to also belong to one of these families. Having that behind you as a driving force in life, I am convinced can only be a good thing. Long live the family values and remember the ones who laid the path you walk on :)

    1. Thank you. What a very sweet response. You are right... it is a good thing. :)